In my travels, I often encourage others to share their stories, but I hear two common responses:
- “I don’t have a story.”
- “I’m afraid to share my story.”
For years, I believed I didn’t have a story worth telling. And when I finally realized I did, I was paralyzed by fear—afraid someone else would uncover it before I was ready to share.
But here’s what I’ve learned: It’s far better to tell your own story than to let someone else tell it for you.
When you realize that you are the best person to tell your story—because no one else knows the details, emotions, and truth like you do—you find the courage to speak up.
Your Story Matters
You have to believe that your story has value. That sharing it will not only help you but could also help others. It’s time to break free from fear and experience the life that comes from owning your story.
Where Do You Start?
Sharing your story for the first time can feel overwhelming. I started by sharing the parts where others had hurt me.
When someone hurts us, it’s easy to live with a victim mentality. But staying in that mindset keeps us stuck in the past and stops us from living the purpose we were created for. Talking about those experiences was the first step in moving from victim to victor.
One of the hardest parts of my story to share was the death of my daughter, Angie. Reliving that pain was incredibly difficult, and for a long time, I avoided talking about how her loss made me feel. I was angry, but I felt guilty for feeling that way. I believed anger was unacceptable, so I kept it hidden.
At first, I only talked about her passing, not the deep emotions that came with it. I also worried people would pity me if I shared too much, and I didn’t want their pity—I wanted to be understood.
Eventually, I realized my story wasn’t just about Angie’s death. It was about how her death changed me. Telling my story became another step toward freedom.
The Weight of Silence
For over twenty years, I struggled with the question: “What parts of my story should I share, and what should I take to my grave?”
My sadness and anger over Angie’s death were just part of the story. The abuse I experienced, the shame I carried, and the despair that consumed me were the other parts.
I longed for a friend I could trust—someone who would listen without judgment. But I was ashamed. I believed sharing my past would make me look weak or unspiritual. I convinced myself that no one would understand.
“My fear of being known was greater than my desire to share my secrets.”
What I didn’t realize was that my secrets were destroying me. Holding everything inside affected me emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I thought I had moved on, but the past haunted me. I became depressed, angry, and overwhelmed with sadness.
When I finally found a friend I could trust, I took a small step—I told part of my story. Even then, I left out the worst parts. But with each conversation, I felt my anger and grief rise to the surface. Eventually, I shared it all, and to my surprise, my friend still accepted me.
That acceptance gave me the courage to seek counseling and start the healing process.
From Secrets to Freedom
Going from a life of secrecy to publicly sharing my story in books and speeches was beyond anything I ever imagined. It was like winning a battle I thought I would never escape.
Today, I have the freedom to share my story with people all over the country. I want others to experience that same freedom.
The Life God Wants for You
Freedom is the life God wants for us. When I signed my first book, Twist of Faith, I included the words “Free Indeed” because that’s what sharing my story has done for me. Every time I tell my story, I step further into that freedom.
I’ve said many times, “I tell my story for God’s glory.” His grace has carried me through every part of my journey, and now, “God’s glory has become my story.”
Finding the Right Person to Listen
If you’re ready to share your story, start by finding a friend you trust—someone who will listen with love and without judgment. Include the good, the bad, and the emotions that come with it.
Don’t let the fear of criticism hold you back. God’s grace is greater than any judgment from others.
You’ll begin to feel the freedom you long for. It’s like stepping out of darkness and into the light.
When we live in the light, we see more clearly. God reveals where He wants us to go. But when we live in the darkness of secrecy and fear, we remain stuck.
Expect to Feel More
As you begin to share, don’t be surprised when emotions come alive. Instead of burying memories, speaking about them brings clarity and healing.
At first, I could only talk about what others had done to me. But eventually, I had to face another painful truth—because of what was done to me, I had also hurt others. My biggest shame wasn’t what had happened to me; it was how I had hurt my own family.
That part of my story was the hardest to share. But facing the truth set me free.
Breaking Free
Proverbs 6:5 says, “Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler.” Freedom requires courage, but it’s worth it.
As I shared my story, the shame melted away like snow in the sun.
Take the First Step
I encourage you—find a friend and tell your story, even if your voice shakes. Even if you feel afraid. Even if you don’t have the right words.
A true friend will listen as you stumble through your story. A true friend will weep with you. A true friend will stand beside you and not judge you.
Be strong and courageous. God brings comfort and freedom when we bring our struggles into His light.
In His light, there is no condemnation. Only love, grace, and freedom.
